Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
