Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
