I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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