so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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