K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
