I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
