These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
