Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
