either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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