Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
