i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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