I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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