i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
