The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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