I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was born a porn star she said
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
