If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
