Yo dont text me then not text me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
