i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
