so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
