I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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