If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
