she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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