it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
