I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize