i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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