Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
