Sry I called you an 8
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
