I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
