Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
