Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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