Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
