you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
