i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
