Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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