there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize