Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
