I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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