K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
