and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dick very happy bro
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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