you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
