every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
