They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Come on in and take your pants off
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