I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
