I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
