Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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(845): View more from New York

just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism

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(303): View more from Colorado

i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

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(618): View more from Illinois

Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.

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(838): View more from

I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now

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