i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
