Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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