Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.

Fav 6 930 2024
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(323): View more from California

I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.

Fav 16 5842 1048
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(317): View more from Indiana

my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

Fav 39 1657 4048
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(518): View more from New York

In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.

Fav 10 7980 1302
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity

Fav 6 2174 1155
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(805): View more from California

I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.

Fav 8 1180 2027
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(804): View more from Virginia

I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.

Fav 2 1798 833
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(631): View more from New York

We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.

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(425): View more from Washington

Blunts beyotch

(206): View more from Washington

What? Joints? Blunts?

(425): View more from Washington

I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"

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