i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
third nipple confirmed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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