Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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