Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
