Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
