and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
