please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
