Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
