Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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