Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
