Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
