i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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