my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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