I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
